Eastern Massachusetts as recently viewed by a satellite
(Thanks to the brilliance of Kanvas)





Ironically, it is NSTAR which may effect what could soon be a "pay-as-you-drive" fee in Darkmouth. For the months ahead it is likely that the brightest beacon
on your street here in this broke town will be the North star. Between 1,100 and 1,200 of the town's 1,700 street lights will have the bulbs
 pulled out (at a cost) in an effort to save the town $85,000 according to Mike Gagne. FYI it's pronounced Ghan- yay if you address him.
I'm told that  there will still be a flow of taxpayer paid electricity in these same poles where the lights are removed.
 Can anyone say break ins, car accidents and liability? I'm thinking Guinness Beer commercial "BRILLIANT!!", here.

Since the town of Darkmouth refused to over-ride Proposition 2 1/2 last July, the town has now charged residents a pay-as-you-throw fee for trash removal (which is far more expensive than ABC Disposal, a private contractor).
 They have turned out the street lights in a town known for treacherous, windy roads without sidewalks in too many areas. They have taken the children of the Beautiful People (South Dartmouth) and removed them from the private schoolesque setting of nine or ten children per class
and have crammed them into a school with offspring of the boorish working-class serfs to the North at the Quinn Elementary School.
I can hear Mandy Pepperidge Willingsworth III fainting in her posh Padanaram palatial manse.

Thank God Bob Michaud stopped the contract between Darkmouth and New Bedford from being signed at Crapo Hill a few years back.
The town brain-trust was going to get its lunch handed to them. John Bullard apparently doesn't do math, insisted that Bob was being silly and that
tonnage was the way to go. Oh sure, don't you know what kind of thinkun' goes on in Darkmouth Government? The town almost ended up paying millions more into the New Bedford- Dartmouth joint landfill than it needed to until Mr. Michaud refused to not be heard.

Back to the present Dark Age in Darkmouth. Not that you can see my point until sunrise, but this intellectual giant we call town government now needs to find 143 other such measures to balance the budget and so we thought we'd like to help out with equally brilliant ideas:

 

1) How about coin operated meters under each lamp post?

2) Why not a toll on Rte 6 and at the Padanaram Bridge?

3) Maybe the town could rent-a-goat to residents in order to absorb some of the trash removal labor.

4) Think Pat Sajak and Wheel Of Fortune. Isn't it time we charge the kids a per-use fee for getting taught? Want to hear the teacher speak? I'd like to buy a vowel for my child Mike.

5) Police cruisers should all come equipped with VISA machines and officers should not respond until those in need of help pony up the dough first.

6) How about a swear jar? Every time a town resident swears when they mention our elected, they have to put a dollar in the jar.
   We'll be out of this debt in no time. Right $%^$'n Joe? Do you agree $%^#hole Mike? Whoops...cling, cling. $2 Right back atcha' big guy.

7) Send supplemental water bills to any property owner that uses the fire department assets.

8) Feed the tuna mayonaisse...OK, scratch that last one. 

 By the way, I can't wait to learn about the snow removal extortion coming soon.

Now for some actual ideas.

1) Since the fee has gone up from $35 to $60 on the town beach stickers for the peasant residents, what about the mooring fees where the Beautiful People dock their 40' yachts?
   Their cost has gone from $20 per mooring all the way up to , well $20. Maybe ya might wanna think about a boost here? BRILLIANT!!

2) Health-care, salaries and retirement pensions for town employees should come down to a place we call Earth. Why not offer these packages so that they are equal to
   the average citizen's who is funding these things? Why should they not be equal to and not greater than the economic security the taxpayer has?
  
3) Farm Schmarm. start taxing these Beautiful People equally and maybe the under-assessing of property for the influential will put an end to this ridiculous predicament.

4) Why don't the liberals who hate this financial crisis start voting for candidates who will finally deny illegal aliens access to social programs in Massachusetts which amount to the imposing tune of over $2,ooo,ooo,ooo.oo annually. $2B/ 351(cities and towns in Massachusetts)  = $5.7M per town.